We had a surgery date when he was 4 days old, that very first visit to the plastic surgeons office they gave us a date. We anticipated that date almost like his delivery date. We planned around it, prayed about it, and worried about it. Dr. Grant (our plastic surgeon) told us he liked for them to be 3 months old for a lip repair, I think some surgeons do it earlier and some later. All I know is that we could not wait to see what he looked like. It sounds ridiculous, vain, selfish, but we wanted him to be whole. Normal. Without the birth defect. We wanted people not to see his cleft but to see Alex. When people peek down into that pumpkin seat at the grocery store, at the mall, at church, they see a cleft, they didn't see my beautiful healthy thriving almost 3 month old and I hated that. We got so many responses when people saw him. There was the awe, as in, poor guy. Then you have the huh, like what's going on there. Then there was the knowledgeable ones that wanted to know if he was eating well and if he had a cleft palate too, those were my favorite. So anyway here we are NOVEMBER 18th, D-DAY if you will. I was more nervous as a mommy about him being put to sleep, yes I know these folks do this everyday but as I mentioned before I'm a nurse mommy and I just happen to work in the recovery room so I happen to know all that CAN happen when you're waking up. Let's just say not everyone wakes up like they have taken a long winters nap. So anyway, I was scared. I'm not going to lie. I've never even been put to sleep and here my 3 month old is going "under". I wasn't a fan, as a matter of fact I almost postponed the surgery I had such anxiety about it. I prayed God would keep his hand on my baby and that he would keep his hand on us as we went through it all and he continues to do so.
We arrived EARLY like had to be there at 530am, if you know me at all you know I hate early. I didn't sleep much the night before so I got up and got ready and around 445 Alex woke up too, I was so nervous about him not being able to eat. They told us not to feed him passed 3am so I had snuck into his room at 245 and tried to get him to eat. He wouldn't. Of course today, the day you CANT eat after a certain time you don't want a bottle. Any other time he would be screaming for a bottle at 2am and sucking it down like there's no tomorrow. Thankfully though, he fell asleep after we got him in his seat and were on our way to children's. We only live about 40 minutes away but it seemed like eternity. We parked headed in and signed in around 520. We were early. A small miracle. We waited patiently with our buzzer, like the one a restaurant gives you before you're seated, The buzzer makes the world go round there in surgery. It buzzes and you are summoned step by step. Our first step was pre-op.
We spent about an hour and a half in pre-op. A nurse, an anesthesiologist and a CRNA came and talked to us, asked us the same questions over and over, you know, hospital stuff. While we waited though Alex was perfect, I mean he even flirted with the females that came in with that big sweet cleft smile. He was a big boy and as you can see we had plenty of time for a photo op and for mommy to pump. Did I mention I was pumping this little guys food daylight and dark? He couldn't latch so mommy turned into a milk factory for the first 3 months of his life. Totally worth it but whew!! Pumping AND feeding separately is NO joke. Insert super thanks to my awesome husband. I couldn't do life without him around here. :)
HERE COMES the HARD PART......
I had to hand him over, at the bubble wall they called it. He had fallen asleep and so it was easier, handing my 3 month old over to someone I had just met. Entrusting his life to them. People do it with me every day but it's different on the other side. I don't like it AT ALL. I only cried a little and he never knew the difference he was snoring, dreaming of giant baby bottles or something wonderful like that. So Bart went and got us breakfast and he took the buzzer with him which totally freaked me out because they told us they would buzz us when they got him to sleep. The way it works is that your buzzer vibrates and you go to "the phone" sort of like the bat phone on batman. All of the important people are on that phone. The first buzz was from the OR nurse, thankfully Bart had made it back up with our food and she was telling us he had been put to sleep successfully. Yay.
Our next update would be from Dr.Real who put our ear tubes in. Side note. Cleft palate babies have wayyyy more fluid that seeps into the ear canal so they get tubes ASAP. In our case, with our lip repair, we had our first scare at the newborn hearing screen when he failed the right ear which I've learned since is very common because often times cleft palate babies are born with fluid on their ears. We also had our first ear infection at our 8 week dr appt and took amoxicillin for 10 days which helped so much! >>>Any who when Dr.Real came out he held my hand, not knowing it was one of his pacu nurses babies he was working on in there, he looked so surprised to see me, he had no idea I was Alex's mommy, and I cried when he hugged me and Bart and told us Alex's ears were horrible and that he would be like a different child because they were THAT bad. I've worked with Dr. Real for almost 12 years and I was SO glad he was the one taking care of my baby!!
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
We waited, and waited some more, then our buzzer went off again, it was the OR nurse telling us everything was going great and that the next call we would get would be from someone telling us to meet Dr. Grant in the consult room About an hour and a half passed and we got that buzz. He told us everything went beautifully, he was happy with his results. Dr. Grant told us the next call would be from the recovery room nurse telling us we were heading up to our room.
An hour and a half later we got the last buzz, it was our recovery room nurse and she told us she would meet us in the back hall and we could ride up with them I was so nervous. Excited and nervous, almost like the day he was born. It was like that all over again. The nurse came out to get us and all I could see was my tiny man lying there in that big ole stretcher. He had a new lip!!! A new face really. It completely changed the entire look of his little face. The day he was born one of our
anesthesiologists where I work came up to see us and told me he and his wife had adopted a little girl from china with a cleft lip and palate. Dr. Thornton told us we would miss his smile after the repair. I thought he was insane then, now I understand. I started crying, Bart started crying, and I think the nurse with us may have even shed a tear or two. I will never forget that moment with my new baby boy. It was wonderful and sad all wrapped up in one. He looked different now than when God gave him to us and I didn't really know what to think about it at first. Here we are in his room, I rocked him for at least 2 hours, he slept all bundled up in his little hospital gown and blankets.
Here we are just a few minutes out of recovery.
To say we were pleased with the way he looked would be the understatement of the century. We were ecstatic. We spent one night in the hospital on the burn unit, only because Dr. Grant likes the way those nurses handle things apparently. They were all awesome. We did pretty well overnight and we were up and ready to go bright and early the next morning. He started to swell pretty bad but that's normal and related to all of the fluids they get during surgery.
Here's a picture later in the afternoon the day of surgery.
And we're out of here.
That's it. We came with a cleft lip, we left with a new lip. Those first few days were rough. He had to wear elbow restraints so that he didn't interfere with the repair and honestly other than that being an annoyance he did fantastic overall. Quite the little trooper.
Heres a sweet little video of him talking to daddy about 1 week post-op
He has done so great, seriously, people keep asking me with constant concern about how hes eating or if hes hurting and I can honestly say he has handled it WAY better than most adults for sure. They say kids are resilient and I believe it more now than ever. I miss that little cleft smile though, everyday. Sometimes more days than others. I'm excited to see where God takes Alex, he will have a testimony, I pray he stays strong in the Lord, I pray that people are accepting of him and that he will be that kid in school with the "cool scar" rather than that kid with the "cleft scar". Hes a fighter for sure..
This will always be one of my favorite pictures of him. Not a worry in the world, he has not a clue hes different. He's just happy to be here.. :) Melts my heart to a million tiny pieces..Love this sweet boy.
Heres an after, this is about 4 or 5 weeks after, its a close race which one of these girls love him more. I feel very sorry for any girl who may be remotely interested in him, they will have to face these two. YIKES. Besides fighting his mommy of course. I think I would be worried about the Payne sisters.A force to be reckoned with.
